As Christmas is to Tim Allen as Santa Claus, as Little Nicky is to Adam Sandler –
Alien Invasions are to turkey dinner and trifle (in my house).
Beyond blankets, food hampers and festive goodwill in traffic, every year, we as a species reckon with our practice of unity. We give the Pass or Fail while queueing, out shopping, at the table, or spouting some cynicism about this or that social relation via social media. It’s the big white elephant in the rooms of political conversation. Can’t we all just get along? What of that December Truce eh? Ubuntu… anyone??
Every invasion flick exploits this aspect of a globalized human species for narrative gain. Not only the Independence Day HOO RAH found in a crisis, or the inspired humanness that wins the day in Edge Of Tomorrow, but the Day The Earth Stood Still compassion and cleverness of being humane. Have we got hivemind down? When it comes to it – what saves us from impending doom? Who emerges victorious? How do they do it??
Oh, the fun-fun of media consumption! Yum!!!
Edge Of Tomorrow (2014)
I was blown away by the particulars of this film, so it’s Number Two, and succinctly sets the bar. It’s not your typical world forces align and triumph story; sure, it begins with news coverage of a world in panic, multinational military cooperation scrambling to save Europe, yeah, but it’s actually the opposite. Major William Cage (Tom Cruise) and Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) are the loners “in the know”, fighting not only the foreign invading Mimics, but the bureaucracy of war-making itself (oblivious to strategies beyond brute force). Cage and Vrataski are small scale operatives who comprehend the larger picture literally, in a wonderful fictional entanglement of alien biology, human adaptability, clairvoyance and deception. I’m enthralled Reset after Reset, as each probable future-day of the invasion unfolds with chess-like moves of military gatekeepers, the beautifully crafted alien Omega, and Cage and Vrataski’s third force – a cooky scientist, the rag-tag yet ballsy J Squad, and the most naturally occurring toolkit for a group of heroes to win the day. It’s also really funny at times!
We know the script: we know there are puppeteers pulling set pieces into opportune scenarios. But it’s not a magical blossoming of advantageous circumstances – Harry does not appear on the other side of the lake just in time – Hermione is not outside the window, chucking cockleshells into Hagrid’s hut – Cage shares a psychic bond with the leader of all evil, like Harry Potter does with Voldemort, but Cage has nothing to begin with: no magic, no giant-hearted guardian, he starts out his special day with a fraudulent letter condemning him to the vanguard of the assault, a Battle for Britain of sorts. He’s also handcuffed, kept under watch, and repeatedly sent into battle shit-scared and unprepared. We know this script: military bad, free choice good. But it’s so much more than the battle hardening macho man inside Tom Cruise’s smart-mouth nerd, or the slow thawing of Emily Blunt’s kick-MAJOR-ass ice queen. It’s a telling of a desperate situation and the tools to succeed, and yeah, making countless mistakes when the world’s at stake, but we knew that (and come end of the film, humanity survives, right?) Visually appealing, a variety of settings and refreshing camera angles, deliciously accurate scales of an all-out invasion, even the Prison Break-esque sequences with General Brigham (Brendan Gleeson): it’s logically, creatively, getting better and better each time. It’s a curiously satisfying ‘ time re-turning, time is running out ’ timeframe. Epic fantasy novel fans would tip their hats to this one.
So, general expectations for a fantastic alien war movie: an individual or group of humans versus an unanticipated, extra-terrestrial foe, with some plot-tographical requirements:
What’s the scale? Invasion? Infestation? War?
Are the aliens cool?
Scary?
Is the story thrilling?
So, Who’s Not Making It, This Christmas List?
While it’s hardcore fighting, futuristic, and features a nail-biting invasion, The Matrix 2 Reloaded and 3 Revolutions (2003) do not pass the mark. For obvious reasons. Nor James Cameron’s smorgasbord of computer-generated delight Avatar (2009), because the invaders are humans, and they’re not all that cool or scary. They get their asses whipped, YAY, but not in ways relevant here. Nor Pacific Rim (2013) or Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) make today’s menu, despite making the category: there comes a time in one’s life when “attack”, “onslaught”, “battle” and “invasion” carry serious distinction. That time is now. So too, Little Shop Of Horrors (1986), Evolution (2001), all Men In Black films, and The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008) don’t crack it. A worthy consideration, Day Of The Triffids (1962) is an intriguing dystopian telling, but lacks a rapturous ending. Lastly, Battleship (2012), while visually appealing and exciting, has minimal alien fiction, so goes in the pile with horribly lopsided War Of The Worlds (2005): honestly, a superb start, a sumptuous body, but an abrupt ending that not even Morgan Freeman can make good. It would surely ruin Christmas!
So, Who’s In??
Mars Attacks (1996)
Number Nine on my List, this one tops the Ridiculous Charts amid the Grandma’s Boys, Cheech’s & Chong’s, Bill’s & Ted’s – a large celebrity cast, many who carved the image of Hollywood we hold today, led by the playful brilliance of director Tim Burton. So, when the obviously mischievous Martians get off their spaceship, who’s surprised to see their carbonizing zap guns?? OF COURSE they don’t come in peace!!! Though it’s too spoofy to be a timeless story, the colour palette is delightful, the plot littered with hilarious murders of A-listers, and a sound that’s now truly universal – Pzzzt !!!
Independence Day (1996)
Even though it’s Number Eight, I’d recommend this one closest to Christmas – good vibes in spades, thrilling countdowns, highspeed chases, a stellar cast, and for you Americans, all the July 4th feels mid-December.
Capt. Hiller: Ohhh no, you did not shoot that green shit at me!
Hostile visitors face off against a dashing, hilarious Will Smith, and adorably quirky Jeff Goldblum, in a very exciting nick of time finale. You gotta love the dry humour, and feel all the Fresh Prince and Jurassic Park nostalgia (also Jeff’s heart-melting cry on DRAG Race!) We don’t see the invaders for over one hour, but it’s kinda worth it when we do. The worldscape of destruction is a feast for the eyes and nerves. A poster-film for hope, black stardom!!, unity, and pop cliches, it has all the warm, fuzzy kumbaya feels.
Transformers: 3 Dark Of The Moon (2011), 4 Age Of Extinction (2014), and 5 The Last Knight (2017)
A TALL drink of science fiction, combining myth and narrative gaps in history, from the start its alien machines galore and terrific human talent. Numbers Seven, Six and Five, they sell the fiction excellently, grounded in an intricate story for any season, big on battle sequences – feasts of bullets and shrapnel – Dark Of The Moon takes the action to the Moon, plays with spacetime travel, and aliens rising from the dead to launch a full-scale invasion that wrecks Chicago. Age Of Extinction’s finale is an onslaught that wrecks Hong Kong. The Last Knight wrecks Earth!
The aliens are INCREDIBLE: good guys, Bumblebee and Optimus Prime are virtuous, noble, perfect childhood role models, and share our penchant for personalized style and attitude. Across the films, it allows continual updating of the visual display: a decadent offering of turbo-charged cars, jets and trucks, packing swords, cannons and automatic weapons! Megatron (a mechanical robot Stefano DiMera) is a real badass, bent on killing, tormenting and enslaving humans time and time again. It’s always to do with rebuilding their home planet Cybertron, long-destroyed by their own civil war. Insane right? So is DOTM’s glass skyscraper scene!!!
In AOE, Megatron a.k.a. Galvatron is SUPER COOL, dissembling and reassembling at will, in lethal glossy white and reflective steel. And the endings are not convenient run-ups: as initial plans advance, so much goes wrong, alliances change, characters improvise – one moment fugitives, the next warriors, always deciding between life, death and the virtues we hold sacred – hunted by kill-squads, hunted by governments, hunted by advanced alien villains, Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg and a literal army of creatives give us a full course of action, romantic drama, suspense and fantastical triumph.
You can surely catch this trio on DVD, DSTV, possibly Netflix… where I first saw the final Christmas Chronicle Listers.
Avengers (2012), Infinity War (2018), and Endgame (2019)
For two glorious weeks, I was aware and able to catch this trilogy. Then it vanished, only to be seen again on DVD – thank the gods, my older brother bought the entire Marvel collection (he’s a nut like that, and I so appreciate it!) The forward and back film stories stand alone brilliantly, but of course, the real gold of this blockbuster series is weaving mutants, enhanced humans, advanced tech, wildly imagined galaxies and alien bloodfeuds together, using the best of classic and new school modes of storytelling. Sacrifice, valour, failure – megalomania, torture, self-doubt – it’s all in the mix.
Iron Man: Banner? … Tell him to suit up, I’m bringing the party to you
Black Widow: I don’t see how that’s a party
Earth becomes centre stage for a maniacal plan of universal domination by major evil, bringer of genocide, the titan Thanos. He’s out of range mysteriously at first, and then BAMM! All-out assaults, condemning thousands to death in his quest to wield the reality-bending Infinity Stones. Near-full manifestation of the enemy’s intent and actions, unhindered by any creative desire to wrap up nicely, wherein writers aren’t afraid to destroy whole realms, kill-off powerful gods, rip our favourites from the script, only to bring back just one (in a way Days Of Lives never would). It makes fabulous sense! Coming in at Number Four, Avengers gets the stones rolling LOL, detailing the interpersonal struggles of working as a team; the Chitauri invasion of New York is EPIC fun, but not on the destruction-scale of say, Godzilla King Of Monsters (2019). Infinity War has that; scary monster soldiers too! Its megamix of celebrity superheroes, and specifically the Battle Of Wakanda, is stunningly intelligent fiction – the ending is the best kind of gobsmack – but it’s just part 1 of the parcel, and so, lands at Three.
Endgame is rich in characterization, has a sizzling plot and the best stuffing: an enthralling snatch-and-grab through the Past, the menagerie of their different strategies, quirks and mess-ups, building up to an awesome culmination at the Avengers’ homebase, reduced to rock and rubble by Past-Thanos-in-the-Future.
It’s not a typical unfolding, reminiscent of the time-travelling kookiness that makes The Flash great. Satisfying moments-in-the-heat-of-battle, we get to see the warrior Thanos, with his double-bladed sword. But it’s not brute force that triumphs; it’s the BESSSST tag team relay EVER, putting everyone’s chips in the endgame. With a masterful bait-and-switch, winning the impossible situation however predictable it might have been, is sold to us hook, line and sinker. That’s definitely worth First Place!
To Be Continued …
References:
1. Rowling, J.K. (1999). Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban. Bloomsbury Publishing: London.
2. Sallsbury, M. (2000). “Mars Attacks Review”. www.empireonline.com. Accessed: 01-12-2020
3. Kerin, J. (2019). “Independence Day Review”. www.jasonsmovieblog.com. Accessed: 01-12-2020
